I Promise

Sometime's the hardest thing is trying to protect the ones you love. There are a lot of thing's in this world out of my control, that i only wish i could make disappear. 

As a best friend, i feel it's my duty to protect and stand up when i have to. But sometimes that just isn't enough. I want nothing more then to take away the pain caused by others. But in reality, i can do no such thing.

The world is filled with toxic and negative things. Unfortunately they cannot be avoided. This is one hurdle that even i have a tough time with. But the bigger the struggle now, the more confident you will become when you overcome it.

It breaks my heart seeing someone i care so much about, go through something so difficult. But i promise you, this will not keep you down.

You were a strong person before this happened, and i know you'll be even stronger when it's over. 

As a best friend, i promise you this. I promise to try to protect and stand up for you to the best of my ability. I promise to always remind you just how amazing and strong you are. I promise that you will be okay, and be happy again. 

But most of all, i promise to be by your side every step of the way.

- XoXo Sara

The Rant

So, when did people become so crazy? I mean, i understand everyone is a little crazy to some extent, but this is just ridiculous.

Sometimes reality is too hard to face, so people block it out. They're so caught up in how they're feeling that they don't stop to look and see what's really going on. A moment to step back, and just breathe and say to yourself "is this what i should be doing?" might just change everything. If you find that your just repeating yourself over and over again, and it feels like your speaking but no one is listening, you'd better step back and see why.

"Love is not possessiveness; many people think that's what love is: you possess somebody totally. To possess somebody is to destroy all possibilities of love."

- Osho

Being attached to somebody is one thing. To be possessive by telling them who they should be with, how they're feeling, and that they're thoughts aren't there own? Now that's just downright being crazy. Everyone is free to think and feel as they please. You do not have any right to claim how another is or should be feeling. 

If you have to constantly repeat yourself and state why your the best choice over and over again, clearly there's a problem. If you have to tell someone they should be with you, then obviously they shouldn't be. If you can't even have the dignity to walk away with your head up, then you deserve to be with your face to the floor. Feelings should not be messed with, and once they already have, you need to know when it's time to let go. 

"Healing comes when we choose to walk away from darkness and move towards a brighter light"

- Dieter F. Uchtdorf

But what if you choose to go to the light, but the darkness keeps following? How should one be able to heal when every single day, there's a constant reminder of the pain that was caused? Most people try to forgive and forget. But you will not be able to forget if you are not given the proper space. To heal a wound you need to stop touching it. But the more you touch it, the worse it becomes. 

Sometimes we think the battle is with the other person, when in reality, it's with yourself. Your at war with controlling your emotions. If you let those emotions get the better of you, it's only going to fuel the fire. Know your boundaries, know when to accept that you've said all you can say, and should walk away. That moment you decide you want to be a better person, is the moment you will stop the war with yourself. It will be the moment you finally give people the space they deserve. The moment you stop making yourself look ridiculous and start proving to people your changing for the better.

Sharing with the world every moment of your life, every tear you may shed, hoping for some sympathy, is just pathetic. How did she feel, all those nights she cried, all those days when she struggled for a smile, but she kept it all inside. For what you ask? For her chance for happiness, for her chance to be loved truly. Did she ever get that? No. But you can't say she didn't dam well try.

So at the end of the day, when you make another post, send another picture, and look for more sympathy, just think, do you really deserve it? Or does she, the girl who went to hell and back, but still manages to find a smile on her face. Every attempt you make, will only set you back. If back is where you wanna go, well your already there.

- XoXo Sara

Inner Gamer

Let's face it, no one likes working all the time. I wish it could always be a giant holiday. But i work the normal 8-4:30 office life. When i worked retail i would usually KILL to be off work by 4:30. Sometimes i think i take that for granted. But it still takes me 30 minutes to drive home in rush hour. So really, i only have a couple hours in the evening before its off to bed. I do sleep pretty early, but i'm anemic and energy isn't something i usually have.

So my evenings are usually about 4-5 hours of free time. It sounds like a lot but when you have to have dinner, and get any chores done, that doesn't leave you with a lot of time. Lately my free time has been consumed by Minecraft. If you haven't played Minecraft, you need to go do it. But be prepared for it to consume your life. 

I said i wanted to get back to the gym, and i wanna work on my jewelry some more, but there's always that thought of Minecraft, and it usually wins. I think what i like most about getting into a video game, is that it takes your mind off everything. Even if it was a good day, its still like a switch that turns off all those millions of thought running through your head. So i do feel much more relaxed when I'm deep into a video game.

What my evening will hold tonight, who knows, chances are Minecraft will take over. But you gotta do what makes you happy. I must satisfy my inner gamer.

On a side note, i got new Uggs, they're amazing.

- XoXo Sara

Happiness

So this weekend was a pretty great one. Friday was spent with my ladies, Jamie, Shannan and Nicole. We went for dinner at Montana's then went rollerskating. Was a lot harder then i remember, but we all had a blast and just spent the whole night laughing. Was a much needed girls night!

And if Friday wasn't amazing enough, Saturday i got to spend the day with Tyler celebrating our 1 year.

Its been a crazy year, but also one of the best. We went on so many adventures and made so many memories. This photo here is from Stampede. I love taking him to new places he hasn't been. Which is most things since he's from a small town. 

Super lucky to have him <3

- XoXo Sara

Friday the 13th

2017 has begun with kind of a rocky start. But I'm not going to let that set how this year will go for me. Right before Christmas i was hit with a lot of challenges. As if Christmas wasn't stressful enough on its own, i had stressful situations that took it's toll on me. No matter how strong of a person you try to be, Sometimes things will always bring you down. For me, 2017 is about over coming the challenges i know i have coming at me in the future. My biggest struggle is that I'm an emotional person. I have been all my life. It's who i am. I don't think that will ever change. When you wear your heart on your sleeve, its more of a chance of it getting hurt in some way. But also, with me being like that, i let people in to my life very easily. I will welcome anyone in with open arms. I give everyone so much trust with my heart and my emotions. But one of the main things i cannot avoid getting hurt by, is stuff that's out of my control. Like when i found out that miss Bella bear will be needing surgery. That took a big toll on me hearing that. Bella has such a big place in my heart and to hear that she's in a type of pain that i cannot help her with, breaks my heart.

Bella has Luxating Patella. Which was always my fear with her breed, but i never thought we would have to deal with the chance of it until she was much older. But i guess the one good thing, is knowing what the problem is and that there is a solution. She's my little Bella bear and i would do anything to keep her happy and healthy. But in happy news for her, she's growing up and becoming more okay with people and other dogs! Super proud of her! 

Despite the struggle Bella has to face with her joints, she doesn't let that stop her. She had such a good time at Petsmart. She was so happy and even got herself a new bed!

Nothing puts a smile on my face like seeing a happy Bella <3

On a side note, with me wanting to have a better year and have things go in a positive direction, i got my hair done! I can't believe how longs its been since i actually got low lights. It really does feel refreshing to have a bit of a change.

Also, next week im changing my room around. Cant wait! It's time for a fresh start and to focus on all the positive things ahead.

This weekend is my 1 year with Tyler. Can't believe it's been a year already. Time goes so quickly. This weekend is a celebration of all the good things to come in the future. Despite all the hard times, you can only move forward. And i know with everything that is headed my way for 2017, ill have Tyler. He really is my rock. I don't know what i would do without him. He means the world to me and i can't wait for all the new adventures we have ahead of us <3

Lately I've been really thinking about my life and everyone in it. I'm a very lucky girl. I hope this year to really spend more time with everyone that means to much to me. Life happens so quickly. Make the most of it and really appreciate what you have.

- Xoxo Sara

Trying To Keep Up

Sometimes i feel like that man in the photo. Where things seem like they're going by way too quickly. It's almost a blur. I find it really hard to keep up with life sometimes. I try so hard to remind myself to always stop and enjoy what's going on in the moment. But that doesn't stop the thought of the many things that's going on in the future. Who can? No one really. I guess for me the future is kind of scary because i know that when i get there, ill be deeply missing the moments i have right now.

Everyone has such different paths in life, and here i am not even knowing what tomorrow will bring. Everyone after high school had a plan. And the last 6 months of grade twelve was all post secondary talk. Me? I was not a part of those conversations because i hadn't decided on anything. Do i regret not going to college right after high school? No. Most people feel that continuing your education is the better way to go. And maybe that's true for them. But for me, i know i made the right choice. Sure i could have applied for something and gone to college, but chances are it was something i might have ended up hating, or that i didn't have any passion for. Money is one thing in life, but for me, my happiness is more important. School will always be there. My life plan was too take it day by day and get real life work experience. By me going out and working different jobs first, I'm learning what my likes and dislikes are. For me id much rather learn about myself, and find what it is i could see myself doing forever before i put myself in a hole of debt. Have i found that particular job yet? No, but that's okay. I'm taking my time with something that is so important in my life. 

All i see in my news feed lately is who's married to who, and everyone posting pictures of their babies. For me, the closest thing i have to babies are Snoopy and Bella. And i would like to keep it that way. I thought being in your 20's was about finding yourself and finding your path in life. Not committing to something as big as marriage and seeing how many kids you can have by the time your 30. Call me crazy, but that seems like a bit much. Don't get me wrong, i have those same goals for my life. But why is everyone in such a rush? You only get to live once, why not make the most of it.

I just don't want to rush my life. What ever happens, will happen. I just want to focus on my current happiness and not where ill be in a few years. I need to take care of myself before i can commit to such a big change in my life. You don't really hear people saying "good job on your full time job, and paying all your bills, and not going out and getting pregnant." Some days it feels like if i didn't go back to school, or plan on getting married right away, or have kids, that i'm wasting my life. Sometimes the hardest struggle is to stand up for myself and be proud of what i have accomplished, and know I'm on the right path for me.

Why can't we all, just slow down?

- XoXo Sara